Families Change Guide to Separation & Divorce

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It's Not Your Fault

It's very common for teens to believe that somehow they have caused their parents to split up. You may be asking yourself things like, "Was it something I did?", or "Is it my fault?". Or thinking, "It wouldn't have happened if I hadn't argued so much, or I had done better at school, or..."

If you are saying things like this to yourself, stop! It's not your fault.

Remember: Parents split up because of problems in their relationship. You are not the reason why they are separating.

Q & A

Q:
Will I be able to spend time with both parents?
A:

In the vast majority of cases, children get to spend time with both parents. How much time you spend with each parent, and exactly how that will work, depends on your custody and access arrangements.

Q:
I'm feeling guilty. Was there something I did to cause it?
A:

You are not the reason for your parents splitting up. Parents split up because of problems in their relationship.

It's not your fault!

Q:
My parents are splitting up. Why?
A:

There are many reasons why parents decide to split up. And with each couple, there might be one main reason, or a whole pile of reasons.

Parents usually try very hard to solve their problems before they take action. If you're not sure what your parents' reasons are for splitting up, you can always ask.